Listen to someone’s heart instead of their words and you will hear more.

Hola a todo! (Hello everyone) I thought I would get into the spirit of being a little America Latino before I head off to my holidays to South America in 1 weeks time. I’m really excited, I’m finally fulfilling my dreams of going to a Latin country. I really love it, I can’t wait to try out my Spanish. I know I will definitely sound like a tourist! Donde esta el baño? (Where is the bathroom) hahah

I’ve actually just finished another chapter in my ebook, its almost there. I’d say I’m about 80% of the way there now and will try to finish it tonight it not tomorrow. Giving me a few days to clean and format it. Wow what a big project I never thought I would take this long, but then I’m surprised I’ve only started writing the book less than 2 weeks ago so I’m really proud.

I have to thank everyone so far for getting me where I am. Its hard to imagine that 4 months ago I didn’t have a web presence and no one knew who I was on Facebook. I also only had 238 friends in my list hehe. But wow, every since going on this amazing journey with Internet Marketing online, I can honestly say I haven’t felt this happy in a while and I also tell myself life is great every day, regardless of the problems that I have. I would really like to thank my mentor Grace Jee for believing in me, she’s the whole reason I’ve started Internet Marketing with a passion, and the reason that I am able to start here now, inspiring you all with what I had learn over the years from many different mentors.

I’m aiming to launch my ebook “Attraction Marketing Secrets” at the very latest by Tuesday, as I’m flying off on Wednesday!!! I’ve managed to get alot done in such a short amount of time. I’ve done 80% of the book, got a friend to help me to do an excellent ecover and sales page (www.topecovers.com) that reflect me and what my book is about. So stay tuned. I’m always at the finish line of the marathon and it sorta feels like a sprint now with less than a week to go.

For those of you who are struggling with Network marketing, Internet Marketing, developing a web presence, marketing your business online, I would suggest you grab a copy of my book when it launches, because it will literally save you months in frustration, time and $$$. I hope my book is a hit for all of you.

So I would love to write one more article before I leave for South America! This might even be my 2nd last one, if I can fit in one more on Monday!

“Listen before you speak, practise what you preach” is a title I came up with, and the article is about dealing with problems and listening. The person I was talking to said its helped her alot my advice so I would love to share it with all of you!

http://www.kasecheah.com

Lets get onto the article, this article is going to be a little unrefined, as I’m just brain dumping but I thought I’d get one last one out there before I head off to land of the passionate!
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1. Practise what you preach.
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We all love helping others don’t we. I know I do. Sometimes we even help others more than we would help ourselves. You might walk 10 kilometers to the closest hospital to save your friend who needs urgent medical help, especially if the car broke down and all forms of transport weren’t available. So why is it that we find it even hard to exercise for 20 minutes a day for our own health?

I think its because we don’t respect or appreciate ourselves enough. Everyone always tells us to be humble but really, are we being humble or are we being damaging to our self confident. Now this might describe you but I always used to be the person who would go out of arms length, walk those 10km’s to help anyone, friends, family, strangers. But I tell you what, this is what will happen to you. Eventually you will run out of steam, and when you do you will start to resent. Why?

Because when we love, and when we help out of the kindness of our hearts, we initially tell ourselves that we are doing it unconditionally. And perhaps for the first few people we are. But a while it gets tiring doesn’t it? Especially if we’re not feeling so great ourselves. They key is, before you give unconditionally to others you must give unconditionally to yourself.

What does this mean? If you receiving everything you need from yourself, happiness, praise, love gratitude, forgiveness and everything you need to feel complete, then you end up becoming an endless source of energy like the sun right? So when you give, it is unconditional and you never expect anything back. However if you are not happy yourself, if you are lacking in something that you are providing yourself, guess what happens. You end up becoming a well instead of a sun. You will keep giving and giving and one day, you’ll run bone dry and you’ll end up being the one in need of help. And if you’re not careful, you’ll start to resent the people you’ve helped, especially if they haven’t helped you back in the same way. If you help someone and you need them to help you back then it becomes conditional!

So how do we avoid this? As I said, work on your inner self first. If you are helping others deal with their problems, make sure you know how to deal with your own. If you are helping others feel happy, make sure you genuinely feel happy inside too. Become a sun and not a well, and you will find that your light you give out, its sincerely unconditional and everlasting. Practise what you preach =D.

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2. Never bottle your feelings, let it out at something productive.
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Bottling feelings are probably one of the worst things you can do. Yes we should all try to feel happy every day, but… there will be those days where we do feel angry, sad, frustrated. We can’t be perfect every day, but we aspire to be more than we are every day. Remember its better to be a happy man, and sad and angry once or twice a year than to be an angry man, and happy once a year. So how to we deal with this?

The two most common are the emotions that give us too much negative energy – such as stress, anger, frustration, and the ones that seem to suck up all our energy – fear, depression sadness.

If you have too much negative energy then instead of doing something hurtful like releasing it at someone who doesn’t deserve it, or even someone who deserves it, why not use it to benefit your body, such as going for a run, or exercising. This is the reason I actually go to the gym alot. Because it helps me channel my pent up negative energy (stress, frustration, or anger) into something positive which is lifting heavy weights which makes my body stronger. So what happens? When I exercise I feel great, about myself, which changes my mood to be positive and confident. So I’m really conditioning myself to feel great every time I feel a build up of negative energy. Are you doing the same thing? Or are you letting it tear at you till you explode like KABOOM one day at some unsuspecting person?

If you feel the opposite (drained of energy, sadness, depression) then you really want to talk to someone. Let it out all the same instead of bottling it inside. By letting out your emotions you are offloading all your energy sucking emotions. The more you offload to someone the better you feel because the feelings that are sucking up your energy start to slowly leave your body. BUT!!! Be careful. Make sure that the person you are off loading to, is a SUN and not a well. Because if you offload to a well, you’ll end up probably needing to help them in the very near future! If you can find a SUN personality, they will not mind. Why because they have endless energy. All your negative emotions will be absorbed by their energy and guess what, they’ll start to fill that empty spot in your body with positive energy. For something to replace another it has to first leave. So before you can become happy you have to get rid of your draining emotions through speaking it out, then once you have a gap in your body, you can absorb all the great feelings!

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3. Accept that some people are just the way they are.
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I’ve heard from an Deepak Chopra audio that defending your point of view is one of the worst ways to go through life. Why? Because you are resisting. Life should be about being free and letting it flow. Much like the way theres no point getting upset if a wild predator animal has ate another defenseless animal, or getting upset that the sun always leaves you for 12 hours a day. Sometimes things are just the way they are. Some people are kind and generous and some people are just… jerks lol (sorry about the strong words heheh).

See sometimes defending your point of view is like trying to tell the world you’re smart. If you’re smart, you just ARE and people pick it up, there no need to prove to someone through conversation that you actually are smart. If you exhibit the right qualities the universe will attract it. So next time someone tries to argue to you about who you are and what you do, and goes against your point view, just say something like “I accept that you have a different point of view. Thank you for sharing.” If you keep saying BUT this and BUT that, guess what. You’ll end up falling into their trap of pulling you down negatively or maybe even getting you to believe that what they are saying is right. Remember theres a a big difference between agreeing to someones point of view, and accepting that, THAT is their point of view and nothing else.

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4. Listen before you speak.
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So once you practise what you preach and you’re happy and giving, now you must listen before you speak. If someone is coming at you angry, sad, frustrated, hear the person you are talking to, see what their needs are. Sometimes we are all lacking connection or significance in our life. Anthony Robbins really drills through this again and again. I learnt at his seminar that the 4 biggest and base human needs are connection, significance, certainty and uncertainty. If you lack any of these elements in your life, it starts getting out of balance. So most of the time, guess what, we’re not looking for a solution to our problems, not immediately anyways. Many times we are all looking for someone to just say they care, they understand us, that they support us, sometimes regardless if we’re right or wrong. So before you open your mouth, listen. Listen to someones words, their emotions, watch their body language. There will be a clue in all this that will tell you what they are looking for. Most of the time it will be connection and significance.

So what happens when no one is there to give us what we need? We end up identifying with ourselves. Ever notice that sometimes if you feel alone and sad, you end up comforting yourself? This is a typical cycle many people can get into. So you have to be careful that when you are trying to help and solve someones problems, you are addressing the right problem. There is always a universal truth. I learnt much of this at Anthony Robbins seminar, I learnt to peel away all the complexities and layers of my own problems and then come to realise what truths there are. You will be surprised when you learn the truth of others or the truth of yourself.

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5. Once you satisfy someones needs you can address the problem.
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I always like to think that when you make someone feel better by addressing their needs or cry for help you can then only then help them with their problem. Why? Well I know that when I’m really down, and worried about my problems the last thing I want is for someone to come and solve my problems. Yes guys do feel this too! Thats why I’m always hitting the gym, it is a release for me. So if someone is frustrated or angry and they genuinely looking for help, if you are a SUN then you can absorb their negativity for them. Allow them to release their pent up emotions. Once they’re empty of all the bad feelings you can begin to fill up that emptiness with something positive. Once someone feels good they will look productively at solving their own problems or allow you to help them solve their own problems.

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6. Watch out for triggers.
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Anyone whose done NLP will know this. Everyone has particular triggers which will offset particular emotions and habits. So guess what happens when you start trying to defend your point of view against someone who is angry at you, or when you try to solve someones problem, and you are not addressing their need. They’re going to have certain triggers that set off a flood of usually worse emotions. So be careful, not to let someone drag you into their own patterns. As Anthony Robbins said, learn to break someones patterns and habits.

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7. Be present, stay in the present.
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Always try to stay in the present moment, and the person you’re dealing with, keep them in the present moment. We all use the past and future, to escape what we think is the harsh reality of the present moment. This is why many people drink or do drugs. It is an escape for them. Sadly many of us use time as an addiction to avoid what is looming in the current situation. As Eckard Tolle mentions in his book “The Power of Now”. There is no past, no future, all there ever is, is now. (Something like that). So if you’re listening to someone make sure that you are thinking in the present moment, that you are not thinking about whats going to happen in the future and what has happened in the past. Then the more you keep then in the present moment and change the way they feel in the current moment, the more chance you will have. As they say you can’t change the past, but you can change your perception of the past. You can change your future, but its ever changing so why stress about it.

Well ladies and gentlemen that will be my last inspirational article before I leave for South America. I feel really sad that I might not be able to write you all for a whole month but at the same time I’m really excited to go. I literally achieved my dream, and I feel honoured to leave behind such an amazing number of followers who have changed my life for the better as well as that of many others. I want to wish you all an amazing thank you, I appreciate you and much care and love. You have all shown me so much gratitude and heart, that I’m really really moved. If we can all just show just a little kindness and support for each other to succeed in this “apparently hard” life (which it can be, if you’re not willing to change it) then we truly are making the world a better place and changing it one person at a time. So with that Adieu, its time to get back to my ebook which awaits me. I will be busy launching that and it will surely be ready by Monday the 12th April.

I hope that it will be a great read for you all especially those wanting to learn how to take first steps into Internet marketing and building a web presence.

Ready for launch on Monday 12th April 2010. Please take a look if you love my style or writing and would like to know how to get started and do the same.

Good bye for now, but not good bye forever. I will try to keep in touch over next few days and if I’m online in South America I will definitely post updates of my adventures!!! Thanks for all the support and encouragement!!!

Be a great listener, be inspired and cherish your moments with each outer.

Peace and love,

Kase Cheah

http://www.kasecheah.com

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